what do i love abt him?

ans: everything.

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frankly speaking, my love life is not the only thing tt is tearing my heart into pieces.. I have other things troubling me too but it just seems that kenny is most impt in my life. I try not to rant about other things and concentrate on my boy coz i am really serious about him. He often tell me to go find my true love.. yes i found it.. he is my true love.. but it's just that i am not his..

I have to handle my emotions and yet i have other things slap right in my face that i have to handle.. At times i cry but i know the other hurtful things cannot hurt me more den knowing he does not love me anymore.

i know i should not show him how hurt i am.. there's nothing he can do anyway.. i also cannot force him to love me.. i really wish i can do something to salvage our relationship..

Today i just got to talk to a guy friend.. His only 22, same as me.. and his already telling me his not young anymore and needs to find a partner soon! how much longer can he wait to search for the right one? haha when i saw tt coming from him i laughed.. not all guys think tt way i guess...

i have to wake up.

Do you know how it feels when someone said that you need them and they will be there for you? But somehow when u really need them by your side they always dun seem to be there.. Do people actually say such things just as a formality and dun actually mean it? Somehow things like that always happen to me and tt's sad.. Coz I know that if i am sure i wanna be there for someone i make sure i'll do my best..

Don't say sorry when u dun actually mean it.. i guess i'm only worth something when others need me and nothing when others dun need me

I have a friend.. I feel kinda sad for her in fact..

She's worried abt being pregnant.. but she told me that she did not regret what she did. Not even a bit.. I guess she really love tt guy.. too much in fact.. But things are not as good for her as that guy dun even love her.. dun even wanna be with her.. I asked her why is she so silly, i think she can't give me a good reason but just had a smile on her face to say altho she is worried, she is happy..

She did not cry or kick a big fuss.. in fact she din't wanna tell me or anyone till i force her to.. she dun think anyone can understand or feel how she is feeling.. not even me.. as she is afraid she will get scolded or misunderstood..

She knows that she has to go thru this alone as she nv expect tt guy to be there for her.. he dun even love her anymore or wanna be with her.. Even if the guy would wanna take responsible, she also dun think she can say she wanna be with him.. How is she going to tell her parents? that she is pregnant and wanna get married.. and the reason they get married is not coz they love each other but coz of the baby.. coz the parents know the guy dun love her anymore. And also how would the guys parents think.. they might think she is just using the baby to make the guy stay..

In fact she dun even intend to tell the guy if she is pregnant or not.. she said she can handle this herself.. i really hope so..

Adam Sandler - Grow old with you

I wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad
carry you around when your arthritis is bad
all i wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get you medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
So it could be so nice growing old with you ....

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let you hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink
Oh I could be the man that grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

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Listen to this song again.. make me think of the sweet memories..
Yes i am a person who believes in true love.

Went marina south today with kenny and gang and had lotsa fun. We went for buffet and den we went pak CS! lolx its been long man.

laugh like mad..

tdy i made a big decision and i better make sure i stick to what i have decided. There's no turning back now just moving forward.. Glad i made that decision as everything was wonderful.

Ooh well What a week.. i have not been updating i know.. haha ooh well..

Last week i went to his house bai nian.. a lot of people invluding his relatives and cousins are there.. really let me have the same old feeling like last time where i will be a part of all the activities.. ahaha and love his father's cooking too! yummy..

I am so happy! he gave me his jack jack! i love jack jack and i shall put jackjack in my office to company me.. I very scared tt it gets stolen or whateva so i will put on my desk only if i am there.. when i go back home, i will lock in my drawer.. lolx.. hey if i buy it one nm la.. but must see who give de ma!!

We shifted to Tamp office le.. ooh well v far but nm la what to do.. work is work ma hehe.. Ooh well sunday i met oko! wow so great man its been long since i catch up with him.. haha know him for ard 5 - 6 yrs already? can't really remember but will remember his fried rice of coz haha..

Monday was cool.. first day at call centre tamp.. oops managed to screw up a few calls and accidentally hang up on people as the system is new haha..

Tues.. went walking ard for stuff.. damn my leave slot is from 27
Feb - 6 march.. hehe one whole damn week.. well i hope it will turn out as great as i expect it to be! hehe

Now i have to start planning for my Apr to June leave.. which day should i take? howhowhow? hahaha i hope i can go overseas with him :)

Let me introduce Jack Jack to you guys.. really liked it a lot as he gave it to me last sat.. It is like my motivator.. haha

My office desk!! hhehehe very messy!

My office desk! I brought my jackjack to office to accompany me thru all my pain and sorrows at work..

My new photo frame and jackjack!

My new wallet! ok its pearly pink ok! its v nice.. and cheap too!! well i realli like it tts why i buy hehe.. the lighting here not v good..

The inside view of my new wallet.. I just can't seem to replace this picture eh.. lolx.. been with me for like a year and half already..

Can you see this?? This is a view of tampines tt i can see just from my office window..

I nearly wanted to go put out the fire.. poor trees.. sobx.. wait the fire burn down CPF building also~~ :X den i die how? haha

Winnie's Flowers.. I am so jealous.. Tulips le.. my fav..

This is the flowers winnie received from "someone" Well so good hor! so envious.. why no one send me flowers in office one kns..

Recently very stressed and upset..

a lot of things have been affecting me and i dunno what to do to make myself feel better...

Very stressed at work coz due to someone nick named "Orr Pee Sai" in my company who i hated man.. always pin pointing me for things.. i can't defend back coz i am just a small employee in the company.. really feel like crying.. why why why... sobx..

Secondly i am upset coz of my granny.. my father brought her to the doctors yesterday.. they discover she got a weak heart.. i wanna cry already.. i love her so much.. ooh god please dun take her away from me..

I have already lost the one i love so much.. tears forming in my eyes already.. sobx sobx..

Here i am! with my Valentine pic! Its a present i made for my precious.. I sew everything myself ok! and den sent it for framing.. To me his name is more personalise and i wish tt it will remind him of me everytime he sees it..

ooh well this is my surprise for my precious darling..

Ooh i really wish we can be together again spending time rotting at home and slack..
Really happy to be able to spend a day with him.. I am happy tt at least we are able to talk and communicate well at least.. The gift i spent a lot of time on it.. sighx.. its like i put in a lot of effort.. I hope he really like it altho he din say much but its what matters in his heart tt counts..

Every little thing he say or do means very much to me be it just words of encouragement..

After going thru so much and i am still here.. i have nv left or have a change of heart..

He always ask me to dun think so much.. i wish i can.. but i hate the feeling of hanging there and not know what is what and what to do.. but i know for sure.. i love him lots lolx

Happy Valentine's day my dear.. be it tt i am still in your heart or not i would not know.. but i am still waiting for the day to come back.. I know we can go thru this together..

up close!

oopsiee..

blardy act cute right..

stunned..

hehe another one!

so blur but makes me look like a kid..

i curl it up!

Picture of new hair cut!!!

Just another post!

This is the most boring new yr i ever had..

no one to spend with..



same goes to Valentine's day..



ooh well thinking back on last yr.. my new yr was so fun and busy.. well i guess things do change and i have to face it..



I am stuck at home... sobx

i just cut my blardy hair..



no longer looking like the pic on the right anymore



sobx

Sighx..



i remember last yr.. how he surprised me with the flowers and the date that he prepared by giving me such a big surprise..



makes me wanna cry..



well will be alone on this valentine's day..



miss him lots

Today momo ask me a qns.. should she and wee apply for flat first den ROM.. they together not v long nia think abt such things le.. so sweet



anyway wait for flat also take a few yrs



i wanted to spend my life with him too.. to apply a flat together tho we use to have no intention of moving out..



altho now is the time for us to enjoy but thinking abt how blissful life would have been if we are together and preparing for our future le..



maybe i think too much.. but i would love tt..



hope my wish will come thru soon

Hello people! its been a rather long time eh...



not feeling very well these few days..



ooh well not very sure why also but just feel rather xin ku..



i am trying very very hard already..





Planning a surprise ahead.. I walked the whole of SG just to do tt something... Hope all my efforts will be paid off as I am really excited about it.. hehe..



Of course.. Money and lotsa time is spent.. will update whats tt only AFTER my surprise is all done and given.. dun wanna spoil anything..



I am scared of coz... coz i dunno if it will be appreciated..



Maybe i am foolish.. stubborn but when i can give, i will even tho i might not get anything back in return.. its ok.. as long as the other party is happy..



:)