As the lyrics goes... when u love someone.. u need to be brave.. you need courage. Its true.. why give up so easily? sighx.. to my lovely friends, please treasure the ones that you love.. don't give up on them easily.. coz u'll nv know how much u will hurt the other party when u do that..



Recently i got to know a couple.. and from what i see.. I can see the old me in the guy's gf.. unreasonable.. demanding.. u name it.. I was thinking to myself.. Wow.. so this was how i was.. poor thing.. I realised what i did and was terribly upset why did i ever treat kenny this way.. If only i am given a second chance.. i will treasure kenny and love him to bits..



everyone makes mistakes.. but all the need is another chance..

zi xuan.. the guy on da extreme left.. one of my closest friend.. his going NS on thursday.. i think i am going to cry again like i cried when CB go NS. sobx.. xuanxuan.. u were always there when i need you.. i will nag and nag but u always listen.. ur hair will be gone too.. sobx.. heng i meeting him tml if not i really v sad...



His the few friends i have that really accepts me for the way i am.. I will miss u dude.. will nv forget the times when i need u and immediately u will come and help me.. or when i lonely u will go out with me... sighx.. thanks for being such a friend..



anyway.. i think i am going to wait for kenny.. meanwhile be single first.. i wun wanna be unfair to any other guys.. and i realli love kenny a lot.. recently see a lot of friends experience things that i have gone thru.. but hang on to ur love ones.. dun give up.. things will work out.. coz u will nv know how much u hurt the other by giving up..

Today is a rather fruitful day...



Well work sucks as usual.. i am getting more and more not serious about this job anymore.. well haikx every since the break up, everything seems a little pointless to me..



I am suppose to meet sharon and Zhen Hui for KTV at night, but we went to eat sakae and shop again instead.. lolx its v fun loh we took a lot of pix with ZH digi cam.. haha but have to wait for her to upload da pics first.. I bought a pair of Giordano Jeans and I can finally fit into a small size jeans ok.. its realli a proud moment for me..



Then while shopping, i received a call from Alvin.. He told me he is on his way to the north part of the island and ask me if i want a ride home.. Haha this is the first time i rode on a bike.. pretty exciting i must say.. and his real nice to offer to come fetch me too.. I must say i really enjoy the ride a lot with the wind blowing in my face.. Thanks dude for being there for me.. i hope u work things out with her.. must treasure all ya moments together.. i wanna say this as i lost someone i love a lot.. and i dun wish to see u in this state later..



anyway.. adrian asked me to eat lunch with him tml.. gotta pull wendy along.. damn alvin.. dun wanna follow.. argh...



Miss you still.. a lot a lot a lot.. love ya too.. a lot a lot a lot..

I am seriously considering the overseas attachment..



leave all da sad memories behind..

sweet!

cute not!

our funny faces

I can't be anything but just a good friend to you now..

Went out with sharon yesterday.. I may seem happy but actually i am very hurt inside... All the time i was thinking about him.. more pics up later

I wanna apologise to all that i have been irritating these few days..



people like Sharon, Pekyu, and Kenny's parents...



some people might not realise what pain i am going thru.. not when u know u really wanna settle down with someone and yet that person reject u big time.. Its like they first accept you and slap u right back into ur face to say they suddenly don't wanna be with u... I may irritate but the hurt in my heart can nv be compared to anything..



I also wanna apologise to Kenny as i know i irritate him a lot with my truthful feelings about him.. I know he can bear to put everything down but i can't... I don't think i ever wanna get married.. coz the person i wish to be with don't even think i deserve a chance iregardless how much i feel for him.. All he can think of is him wanting to be single..



i will still wear the ring he gave me as a pledge of our love... its v precious to me



I have had my fair share of bfs.. i know whats serious and what's not.. Kenny taught me a lot of things.. how to learn to forgive and forget and accept others the way they are.. well i learned but maybe some things are not able to forget and forgive just like he can't give me another chance..



What i can give, i already gave.. and i can't take back some of the things i gave also.. It will always be his.. I have given him my heart.. He will always remain in a special place in my heart..



I must stand up and be strong.. i must try.. people think i can coz they think i am brave and strong but i am not.. Coz Kenny has always been the one giving me the security and support that i need..



I will force myself to stop irritating him.. yes force myself.. for him.. coz its what he wants.. even as i typed this i cry.. one year.. one year of love for each other..



but there's no looking back already.. will i look back and regret this day that i nv treasure Kenny? Yes i will always regret.. tho i know he may not regret losing me.. but deep inside me i know.. i will always be waiting for him to come back to my life.. I really love ya so..

He told me the truth.. but its too painful for me to accept..



reality hurts i know but i still love him so much leh



i realli wanna wait for him one u know.. sighx



why he dun wanna give me a chance to prove myself to him..

I am still v heart broken..



kenny i know u still feel something for me.. it may not be a lot but i know we can work things out..



I will wait for u dear.. till u are ready again loh...



love you always

MY Kenny..



What i love about you :

I don't deny you are cute, U may not be tall very rich but everything

else falls into place nicely

You have a mind of your own, although u always can't decide but NOW i

know its because u respect me and want to let me do things that i will

be happy instead

You have a kind heart, i know.. u always tell me to care about how

others feel and to forgive and forget and give people chances.

You always lend a helping hand to your friends.. that's why everyone

loves u so much





What i dun like abt you :

Stubborn - just like how stubborn you are now not wanting to get back with

each other just coz u tot abt it and u think its the best for us.

Nothing much.. just love u the way u are I swear



06/09/2003 :

I'll never forget the day you ask me to be yours...



Our Love Story

Basically one night a guy by the nick Iori0_0 msg me. I dunno who that was

so i just talk a bit. After a bit of intro, we started chatting..(after a

while he told me he msg the wrong princess.. kns right!! but den again if

not we wun know each other at all) at tt time, i got to know his friend

Ron,

and tt time ron was always teasing us. Ron send me a pic of kenny with his

friends and i was like "ooh ok.. i see him b4 but dunno who" lol..



At times we tot of meeting but den he always wake up late or something

would

crop up.. i grew tired and dun wan meet liao, but den duno why we

eventually

met one day. At first i was rather scared of him becoz he seem so quiet

machiam got zi bi zheng.. but den he still got talk to me la.. hehe..



Ever since the first time we met, he would come and pick me up from work

every day. He would buy watermelon or ice cream for me sometimes.. but the

whole cup of ice cream, i would only get to eat one small bit coz all melt

liao haha.. at that time i was very happy as everyday after a tough day at

work, i would open the door and see him smiling at me to pick me up after

work.



We went a lot of places during our one month of dating.. trying every damn

restaurant in town coz when he go NS, he would not get to each good food

liao.. we had our funny moments like how to chilli bottle in Kenny Rogers

just simply would not let us pour out the chilli sauce. Or the silly

moments

when he ask me to be his gf but i always say i not interested to have bf..



Ohh well i think i really did give him a tough time den.. tho at tt time a

few other guys were also going after me, he is the one that i picked

eventually.. right dear? me ya prized possession eh? lol



The day he go NS, i cried.. tho at tt time i was not his gf, i did feel v

upset. Its like when i open the door when i knock off from work, there was

no warm and familar face there to pick me up or to cheer me up. I met my

friends tt day and i also cried in front of them.. ooh well me cry baby..



The morning he go NS, he also fetch me to BK eat breakfast den bring me to

office. I really can't bear to let go.. realising tt he really did affect

my

feelings. I was v confused at tt time but at that moment my mind was really



cleared.. i do wanna be with him..



Ooh well the day after his bday, is the week when he first book out from

camp.. b4 tt day, he said to me he would ask me to be his gf again and hope



tt i would agree.. and i did! and boy was he happy.. so was i :)



just wanna say, "Dear altho sometimes we do not agree with each other,

remember what i say, if one give way the others must too. I love ya!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

remember this story?

everytime i read this i cry



I told u that although i may not need u physically beside me but

emotionally i still need ur security..

no one has ever given me so much happiness that u have

I did a lot of "first time" things with u.. like eating Fish and Co, go on

holiday with each other,..

These may seem to be little things to you but think abt all the happy times

we have spent together.. The times we laugh and cry with each other...

the times u fetch me for movie and eat fish and Co after tt at jurong

point. On Valentine's day u surprised me with the flowers.. No one has ever

done that for me.. only you..



Everytime we quarrel, I was never selfish to my own feelings. I always let

and give each other a chance coz i know how much we mean to each other..

maybe u feel that u may not feel anything for me now coz u are still

stubborn and make urself hate and block me out to make way for your

friends..



I still need your emotional guide and support.. no one can give that to u

but me

You can have your friends i can have mind but at least i still have you..

You may think i am forcing you.. sobx.. why do i deserve this?



You want me to get on with my life just like you did.. but 1 yr.. waking up to hear your voice.. I wun leave u.. i dun

wanna leave u.. would u wan a ger who love u but yet is willing to live u

anytime? den tell me what love does tt person provide u with den..



u ask me to assume u love me.. but if tts the case i can assume prince

william is my husband.. tts not true.. i know part of you still love me..

tho it may not be that much but we can slowly build that up.. I wanna hate

u for doing this to me but my love for u exceeds this so much i hate myself

for not being able to stand up for myself..



You mentioned u are soft hearted den why now suddenly so hard hearted to

me.. xin hao tong hao tong.. what did i do to deserve all these.. if u say

i dun deserve den give me back my kenny.. gimme back the love that he has

showered me last time..



I know u are sick of hearing this.. I wish my heart is sick so it can just

stop beating for u too.. I wish depression can kill coz if so i wun be

feeling so bad now.. at least i feel nothing...



That's how much i love u my Kenny Cheong Chyuan Lih..



Love you so much,

PopCorn.



*This is the edited version i sent to him to tell him how impt he is to me*

Today was not a very good day for me..



First day i went to work without Kenny in my heart.. Its not i dun wan him there but he just dun wish to be..



I got so upset with whatever i do.. i talk to customers also feel like crying.. i got so depress i went to the doctor..



He told me that i am suffering from depression and gave me some anti-depress pills but warn me not to take so much as it is not good for health..



Kenny is a good bf and i waste my chance with him i feel so upset.. He doesn't want a second chance together.. he said not yet.. for now be friends.. i know what he meant but it really breaks my heart.. Yes i do have friends but its different.. Doesn't he know how hurtful it is even to be separated from the one u love?



I can do things on my own.. i dun need him to be there physically for me all the time already.. coz now i know as long as i know he still loves me, in my heart its enough.. Its the best thing for me...



I use to make him feel his not a good bf but now i realised i am den not the good gf.. he treat me with so much patience and care and concern but i din see that last time..



Now that i have finally realised what are his needs and wants, its too late coz he prefer to lead his single life.. Why can't he remember the very happy times we spend together.. He once told me nv to remember the sad things but remember the happy times but now.. why isn't he doing it den...



Empy told me that i am different from last time.. last time when i break with bfs, i wun be that upset... i let go easily but for kenny is different.. I more or less already got use to him being a part of me already.. building rapport with his family too... Coz i know i wanna settle down and i wanna settle down with him.. maybe he might hear le and feel scared to be commiting but i know his a responsible guy.. he has always been mature and takes care of his family well.. I know he is..



People may think we are still young why settle down so quickly.. i talked to his dad.. his dad told me u must be together first den make mistakes in order to learn.. den step by step learn what's the best way to live with each other.. it takes years to know.. Thats why after this mistake i have realli learn a lot...



Just now i went downstairs to give offerings and pray for us.. I prayed real hard for us and i am very sincere.. I know i am.. coz its what i really wish for..



Just hope he will give me a chance to show him that i wanna treat the one i love well and good.. i realli do..

I feel so miserable without him...



But i will try.. coz tts what he wants for me..



tho he nv considered what i wan, but i can't stop loving him..



i must give him time.. please give him time.. coz only time will tell...



I told him a secret that i have kept from him for a long time.. coz i scared i will have no more chance to do so already.. but i dun think it will help in anyway too..



just hope he knows what he has to do..

kenny finally broke off with me



he just throw our 1 yr relationship into the drain



i am so upset i wanna cry



my heart aches so much i feel like dying...



why must he be so heartless



he tot i was the one who sms ***** and threaten her..



but its not me..



before ******told him, everything was still fine between us.. why must something always spoil our lives...



i feel at my worst now..



i can't take it

i am not pinning too much hopes..



just wish that everything goes smoothly



*prays*

I think i know what's wrong with me... I think i am being too uptight! about practically over everything! It is as if Kenny stick something up my ass to make me feel so uncomfortable that i make a fuss over everything.. please do not! i repeat do not anyhow think ok.. wat stick here there...



anyway.. i am waiting for friday.. *cross my fingers*

hope i hear what i wanna hear if not I will be all alone again..

Ahh.. today is Kenny's bday...



He was having a bday party at his place last night.. I am so tired as he fetch me home at ard 5am in da morning.. I had lotsa fun i must say as i get to see a lot of people and of coz had a piece of delicious Swensen's Ice-Cream Cake.. Lucky boy.. it was shaped in a key.. guess it really did cost a lot..



Haha his parents gave him a Golden Key necklace which the chain looks so thick on him... like some big ah beng which is so funny becoz this is the first time i am seeing it on him.. Guess he has lotsa big ang pows too..



I also get to meet some of his friends.. even those from his TP.. glad at least one or some of them knows who the fuck i am... BTW yesterday some of their conversation talked abt the name ****, but the mention of her name already makes me sick.. Call me jealous.. sue me.. i dun care... He mentioned something that his friend like another gal and kenny's just helping... my dear is one big kpo matchmaker i guess.. just dun mismatch and match himself with some other girl b4 i make sure i chop his wee wee off.



Had a nice talk with Eunice and her friends.. Actually i find Eunice very interesting and a funny person.. She seems to have a lot of "ren yuan" well i wished i can be like that too haha and but be so dao at times to others...



Very happy that Kenny's grandmother was asking ard for me when she din see me.. wondering where was i and why i was not there... i was actually in da room with kenny's friends.. that really made my day.. at least she makes me feels that she even thought about me... :)



Today is his actual bday.. going to spend it with him.. guess i will bring him for chocolate fondue at Hagen Dazz.. yummy.. maybe a meal at jack's place too! hehe gotta go! before i am late as usual