Yours Truly, Emma.. the unpredictable girl in her unpredictable little world..

Just smsed him just now.. he told me he v tired and when he reach home he wanna go and sleep already. Asked me if i mind... all i can tell him is that.. is there a difference?? If i dun meet him or what, i dun see if there is a difference if i talk to him or not..



Den i said that there is still ten more days till we meet what.. his reply was "Ya i know.. Hehe.." He my ass la.. serious wtf right?? sound so happy that these few days he can dun meet me.. fucking disappointed man.. let me emphasize on da work fucking man.. __



He den said, "you dun wanna rest too meh?? i tot tt time u also asked for it.." Blardy hell.. i told him break better dun waste time and make me miserable waiting for him.. Not everyone likes to be separated from their love ones.. its worse when the one you love give u a period not to meet..



I somemore said to him.. since like that den dun regret if some guy ask me to go out.. Besides, he said that i can have my own guy friends also..



He den replied me to ask if i wanna watch twin effect 2 with him.. HELLO! am i stupid?? do u need to change the topic and expect me not to realise and be reallllllllllll happy that u wanna go out with me?? PUHLEASE! Now u know right! when i was with u right from the start, i nv contact guys.. know new guys.. or go out with them.. U have never appreciated what i did for u.. i was always by ur side.. letting u know that i wun run away or leave u alone.. It was very upsetting when u left me standing there just like that.. hint hint = sharon's chalet tt time.. Just reminds me of the times when i was with HQ.. how he just walk away and leave me there like that..



So now u know.. i can run.. i can hide.. and if i wanna do it.. there is nothing u can do to stop it.. u wanted all these.. i would still be v loving and devoted to u until u asked for it.. treating me like dirt and knowing that u treat me like that.. u still continue to treat me like that..



Some people might wonder.. why am i condemning my bf like that.. well everything i said was everything that has happened. I find that blogging is the onl way for me to relief all my stress and hurt. I can't pour my troubles to him.. instead of listening and comfort me, he only know that its my fault or say "who ask u to ...." or say "u always think u are v great la".. eeh fuck.. as if i am not upset enough.. I can't pour out to the person who is my so called bf den who?? Married le how?? i tink i will kill myself sooner or later man..



He said he wanted the 2 weeks for HIM to rest and to think about our future. HE wanna rest for 2 week.. HE decide one lo.. HE just carry on.. and HE still like so happy abt it. den me le? *bang* dead ok? think about our future... hahahhahahhaha now already like tt.. still dare think of future meh?? U wan a future with me and yet u still like that.. I dun wanna marry someone who i need to protect and take care of.. instead of the other way ard..



Some people might think why am i still with him... I dunno.. maybe i just can't let go of something i took so much effort to build up.. Going thru everything with him right from the moment he go NS.. been thru his BMT with him and also when he first go PA for 6 mths of training.. Every night when he is in camp, i would be the one waiting for his call every night to let him know that altho he is alone in there, here i am still waiting and loving him.. wriggle my way into his life so that i can fit into his enviroment.. doing things that i have nv done before or is so not me.. been thru done that.. I still try my best to be part of it.. but when i ask him to accomodate to some of what i like to do, all he can say is that he not use to it or that its not what he wants to do and ask me to do it myself.



Its not that i can't do it myself.. just that i just hope that he could be more involved with what i do.. maybe my meaning of loving someone and his is just different.. den again.. Name me 10 things that are the same for us.. *rolls eyes*



To my da wu gui, thanks for being there for me these days chatting with me and all.. you really made me feel happier when we are working.. Thanks to you being so nice at first if not i think we would not have known each other.. looking forward tml.. Hope i call 4446 and u pick up so i can kajiao u.. :P